Why is your boss insane?
1. She uses words in a manner designed by Satan specifically to piss me right off. I'm a proud and noble grammar Nazi, and she thinks it's good fun to use completely incorrect words in the simplest of context. For instance, she thinks "triage" means "an assortment of", as opposed to "to sort", and is oblivious to the fact that it's a word rarely used outside a hospital. She has an obsession with the word "wonderful" that borders on the fetishistic, and for pessimists like myself this is far from tolerable.
2. She runs her business like an enormous manifestation of her ego. Every bit of available shelf space is immediately filled up with tacky crap, though, luckily, there's rarely any empty space because nobody every buys her s**t. She sends out fliers pimping said giftware, bragging that it comes from "Canada, local Artisans, and elsewhere", "elsewhere" referring specifically to China. And because she runs our business like a pet project, we're constantly out of things, the schedule is all over the goddamn place (my manager was scheduled Christmas Eve for eight hours, got Xmas off, and was scheduled to work straight on through New Years, and people are routinely scheduled for one- and two-hour shifts), and paychecks routinely bounce. It's just a goddamn wreck.
2a. She also has no business ethics whatsoever. The standard markup for regular products is 60% (this is a convenience store/cafe, remember), and has a tendency to cover things up with stickers. The first example of this was a set of cheap injection-molded jewelery branded "Fashion Mode". She covered up all the "made in China" stickers with price tags (usually around $15.99). Then, she received a box of charity greeting cards from an organization called "H.A.N.D.S.", which makes shoes for orphans or supplies fair-trade prosthetics to Ugandan refugees or something. One day, I arrived at work to find the "$15" portion of the H.A.N.D.S.-supplied display box had been covered up with a Christmas decoration, and a "$19.95" sticker placed opposite it. About a week later, a representative of H.A.N.D.S. had stormed in, furious about the fact that we were profiting off a charity (this was after numerous customers and employees has expressed similar complaints). Confronted with this later in the week, my boss alleged that not only had the charity told her to mark it up, but that she also didn't see the original posted price. This might seem a bit contradictory, until you consider the fact that she has the galloping crazies.
3. She never fires anyone, which would be a good thing except that we've got two or three profoundly incompetent, lazy, and unethical workers who drag the rest of the workers down like an enormous anchor. One of them in particular, is not only a bottomless supply of grating laughs, inane statements, and obvious questions, but left alone in a ceiling-less room full of ladders, she would be unable to escape. Some of the things she's done:
- Attempted to fill an already-full pot of coffee, spilling coffee everywhere. Twice.
- Been told 4 times in one hour how to operate the debit machine.
- Filled a cup of tea for herself and proceeded to flip through the newspaper in the middle of a lunch rush.
- Expressed total ignorance regarding the difference between Skim and 2% milk.
- Made a batch of muffins entirely without flour, and not noticing until I pointed out that muffin mix isn't supposed to have the consistency of a runny milkshake.
This was all done in the last month, and she's been working here for four.
If someone ever tells you that they have "OMG leik the worst boss evar!!!1", that simply can't be unless they're one of my co-workers.
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