neorealist
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« on: March 26, 2008, 04:53:22 PM » |
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Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Redneck?
Here is a little test that will help you decide.
'Scenario'
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock 40 Cal, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
What do you do?
Democrat's Answer
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor! Or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think? What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on , could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1 ?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing!
I need to discuss with some friends over a latte and try to come to a consensus.
Republican's Answer
BANG! Maybe I should have asked more questions. Maybe I shouldn't have done that so quickly. Oh well...we'll know better next time, won't we?
Redneck's Answer
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click....(sounds of reloading)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
Click....(sounds of reloading)
Daughter says: 'Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?'
Son says: 'You got him, Pop! Can I shoot the next one?'
Wife says: 'You are not taking that to the taxidermist!
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The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch
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Big Bear
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Gotta love airpower!
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« Reply #1 on: March 26, 2008, 09:44:20 PM » |
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Now thats funny!
I like it, peace through superior firepower. (Ya know, a real redneck wouldn't use that many shots.)
Question: If the Danes were to make a cartoon about it, would it cause riots in Islamic countries?
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« Last Edit: March 26, 2008, 09:46:17 PM by Big Bear »
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\"You have a right brain to feel your way into trouble and a left brain to think your way out.\"
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Gojira
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« Reply #2 on: March 27, 2008, 08:04:56 AM » |
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I like it, peace through superior firepower. (Ya know, a real redneck wouldn't use that many shots.)
They can't afford it.  |
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Our democracy has created an environment of indecision at times of impending crisis.
If life is easy for you, then you aint livin.
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bringbackwigs
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« Reply #3 on: March 27, 2008, 08:12:12 AM » |
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Hardly clever.
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In religion and politics, people\\\\\\\\\'s beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second hand, and without examination. - Mark Twain  |
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neorealist
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« Reply #4 on: March 27, 2008, 08:59:24 PM » |
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Hardly clever.
smited for slamming the joke, being grossly confident in our NCAA challenge, and for being a fan of Bill Self. |
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The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch
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freethinker
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« Reply #5 on: May 14, 2008, 08:15:06 AM » |
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Ignorant Arizonian answer: Ah'd have shot the son'bitch without the knife jes cuz Ah dint like the way he looked.
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Yes we can ...and now we will...
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neorealist
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« Reply #6 on: May 15, 2008, 05:51:53 PM » |
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way to necropost...kwality
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The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch
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bringbackwigs
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« Reply #7 on: May 15, 2008, 05:55:34 PM » |
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In religion and politics, people\\\\\\\\\'s beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second hand, and without examination. - Mark Twain |
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ispeakyoulisten
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« Reply #8 on: August 29, 2008, 10:43:08 AM » |
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That was really funny :- )
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High and Low, Doesn\\'t Matter at All
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Biker Dude
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« Reply #9 on: August 30, 2008, 06:04:41 AM » |
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Applaud for finding that awesome graphic! I'm of course now going to steal it... |
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 Who will watch the watchers?Now that it is over, what are we going to talk about? |
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bringbackwigs
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« Reply #10 on: August 30, 2008, 03:49:29 PM » |
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We should use it whenever we ban somebody.
Let's ban someone right now to test it.
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In religion and politics, people\\\\\\\\\'s beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second hand, and without examination. - Mark Twain |
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Biker Dude
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« Reply #11 on: August 30, 2008, 06:30:11 PM » |
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Any suggestions?
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Who will watch the watchers?Now that it is over, what are we going to talk about?
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bringbackwigs
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« Reply #12 on: August 30, 2008, 07:16:35 PM » |
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Neo, for his bad joke.
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In religion and politics, people\\\\\\\\\'s beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second hand, and without examination. - Mark Twain |
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Biker Dude
A TRUE Liberal!
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« Reply #13 on: August 30, 2008, 07:20:37 PM » |
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Lol!
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Who will watch the watchers?Now that it is over, what are we going to talk about?
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easybreezy
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« Reply #14 on: September 08, 2008, 01:05:42 AM » |
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That was wittingly funny.
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