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Opmod
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« on: July 29, 2008, 10:11:15 AM » |
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But I got this emailed to me and felt like you guys would appreciate it
HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029
Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California .
White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.
Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.
Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.
Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
Iran< SPAN class=EC_EC_ececapple-converted-space> still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
France pleads for global help after being taken over by &nb sp;Jamaica. No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!
Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.
Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba.
Abortion clinics now available in every
High S cho ol in United States
Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.
Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.
New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2030 .
IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.
Now, send this to whomever you want and as many as you want, then, guess what....NOTHING will happen. No miracles, no money, absolutely nothing, except you might make someone smile or very very scared.
I love this Country
It's the Government that scares me!
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\\\"Something witty\\\" Some self impotant blowhard
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bringbackwigs
Professional Post-Whore
Global Moderator
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Please refrain from taking my posts seriously
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« Reply #1 on: July 29, 2008, 01:51:24 PM » |
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Good stuff.
And where the hell did you come from?
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In religion and politics, people\\\\\\\\\'s beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second hand, and without examination. - Mark Twain  |
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Biker Dude
A TRUE Liberal!
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Karma: +158/-117
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Live to Ride, Ride to Live
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« Reply #2 on: July 29, 2008, 05:23:50 PM » |
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Who are you?
You have a great sig line, but do we know you?
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 Who will watch the watchers?Now that it is over, what are we going to talk about? |
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illy
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illerino if youre not into the whole brevity thing
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« Reply #3 on: July 29, 2008, 07:59:04 PM » |
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Good stuff.
I think if I got that email, I might not be able to resist adding one or two of my own befiore sending it on.
Surgeon General increases wiping guidelines from three squares to four.
Time-Warner-Verizon-Frito Lay-Walmart-Citibank merges with GM-Ford-Rite Aid-Nike-ConAgra to become worlds only corporation.
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Ammunition spitting is him, is it, you listening
Littering written, it\\'s in slippers, get the rebel in him
Sticking it with sinners, sizzlin\\' rhythm, verbally hit him
Did he did it, or did he didn\\'t, admit it -
Rugged Man - Give it Up
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neorealist
Global Moderator
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Mod of further light
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« Reply #4 on: July 29, 2008, 08:07:04 PM » |
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Illy, I like that second one you posted...LMAO
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The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch
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freethinker
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« Reply #5 on: July 30, 2008, 09:11:22 PM » |
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How about :
DATELINE FCI Petersburg VA;
Earlier today the last known republican was released from federal penitentiary after serving 19 years of a thirty year sentence for crimes committed under the second Bush administration.
Going only by the alias "turd blossom" the man kept muttering "executive privilege" as mental health workers tried to find an old age home that would take him...
President Michelle Obama, just beginning her unprecedented third term, was unavailable for comment...
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« Last Edit: July 31, 2008, 03:11:47 PM by freethinker »
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Yes we can ...and now we will...
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micfranklin
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« Reply #6 on: August 03, 2008, 06:20:30 PM » |
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Was wondering when you'd get back here.
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Opmod
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« Reply #7 on: August 06, 2008, 06:36:11 AM » |
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How about :
DATELINE FCI Petersburg VA;
Earlier today the last known republican was released from federal penitentiary after serving 19 years of a thirty year sentence for crimes committed under the second Bush administration.
Going only by the alias "turd blossom" the man kept muttering "executive privilege" as mental health workers tried to find an old age home that would take him...
President Michelle Obama, just beginning her unprecedented third term, was unavailable for comment...
Leave it to freestinker to make ANYTHING an attack on the current administration. What are you going to do AFTER the current election Free? Oh and its NOT unprecedented,,,,,FDR did it. Remember a mind is a terrible thing to waste....BUT A MIME? Thats ok to waste. |
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\\\"Something witty\\\" Some self impotant blowhard
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Opmod
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« Reply #8 on: August 06, 2008, 06:55:35 AM » |
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AP:
Scientists concerned that global cooling is contributing to record think ice in the North Pole and hazarding Polar Bear populations.
Propose cutting huge circles in polar ice cap to give the bears someplace to get under the ice so they can hunt.
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\\\"Something witty\\\" Some self impotant blowhard
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freethinker
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« Reply #9 on: August 06, 2008, 08:40:28 AM » |
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Oh lighten up Opmod your just pissed because mine is funny and plausible.
To correctly quote that bastion of wisdom in edjumakashun Dan Quayle;
"A mind is a terrible thing to waste, . . . you take the United Negro college fund model that what a waste it is to lose one's mind or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is."
How true indeed Danny boy!
Ya see Ill attack ANY bush administration ...not just the current one!
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« Last Edit: August 06, 2008, 07:50:40 PM by freethinker »
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Yes we can ...and now we will...
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