1. You no longer associate bridges or rivers with water.
2. You have never met any celebrities. (Bob Dole isn't a celebrity; he's your neighbor.)
3. You know the meaning of Rock Chalk Jayhawk.
4. You are a "self-made" farmer who purchased your family farm with a USDA rural development loan and makes your living growing government-subsidized crops insured with government-paid federal crop insurance on land you purchased with a government-subsidized land loan made possible by the Federal Land Bank, and deposits your monthly government-issued CRP check in an governmentally insured small town bank that owes it's existence solely to the FDIC.......
........and then spend the rest of your day bitching and moaning about your taxes being so high because of all these lazy freeloading welfare receiptants in the cities mooching off the government.
